I miss the weekends I would just fall asleep in your arms. Be able to wake up in the middle of the night and know I was so lucky to have you next to me. Something went so wrong that you aren’t laying next to me tonight. The things I’d give to have you back in my bed with your arms wrapped around me :(

I hate this feeling. I feel stuck. I want to text him and express all these feelings but I know it will only end up hurting me more. I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m stuck thinking about him constantly when she is the only one on his mind. When did things go so bad that I lost the one I thought I’d spend awhile with. Today makes it harder because back in September I told him I’d bring him to Passover dinner if we were still together, he looked at me and said “if we are still together? We are gonna be together for awhile.” But I guess it was a lie and that’s why my subconscious said if we are still together. God I hate how badly he hurt me and how much I still love him.